Sunday, 20 July 2014

Kiss me's Talk : Are you too nice?

Sawasdee ka~

I would like to introduce you new topic to my blog "Kiss me's talk"! This topic is not going to be scheduled monthly but kind of whenever-I-feel-like-it post. It will be about my life experience. Today topic is about being too nice. We all know that it's nice to be nice...but most of the time when thing begin with TOO it's usually not that good, right

The world is a better place with kind and generous people. So what is the problem of being too nice?
Well have you ever noticed that when you are too nice, people tend to take advantage of you. Recently, I received a phone call from my friend, she called me because she' want to complain with me about people around her who take her for granted. And most of the time the reason she call me is because of her being too nice. So this is the beginning point of this topic.

Have you ever felt you stretch yourself thin? Do you struggle with saying "no" to others' requests? Do you often find yourself under-appreciated and taken for granted? Do you often go along with what others say and want, although you feel unhappy with it? Or are you putting others before yourself? If you say YES to any of these questions then you might be too nice.

I used to be the one who tick "yes" on all of those questions above. When I was younger, I used to put others before myself. I'm not dare to tell a friend or other that I'm not free to go or do anything with them. I'm scare of turn off people around me and try to please people until I feel bad to myself because I don't have enough time to do my own things. But as the time goes by I learnt to balance thing out, maintain boundaries and give more time to myself. Being nice is a win-win but being too nice is a win-lose situation. If you're nice, both people feel happy but if you are too nice the other person probably feels good, but you don't. Remember that it's okay to do things that will make you happy too :)
So how did I cope with being too nice? Well first of all I stop all that negative bubble thoughts that pop out of my head like "I'm selfish if I don't help them", "she won't like me if I don't help her" etc. Instead, I confirm with myself that if I allow myself my own time, I can take better care of myself as well as others. I do help people in need and I love that but I do not let people take advantage of me too. For example if there are 2 girls ask me to help them on their report, the first girl work really hard to get her report done but there are some part that her struggle with, obviously I will help. On the other hand, the second girl just being lazy I will say "no" gently  but firmly. Okay, it might not be a good example but you kind of see the situation clearer.

The thing is you help people because you want to help and you help people because you have been forced to are totally different and they both give different outcome too. Overall, for all ranting about I don't mean that you have to be selfish but what I mean is to be nice in a way that’s healthy for everyone (especially you).

What do you think about this topic? If you think differently feel free to share your thought :)



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